Baby Uma: February 2006

13-day reflection

It's Valentines Day and I sit here with precious Uma strapped to me, joined now for 13 days outside the uterus. We've been separated now for the occasional shower and for the times that Meshi and Shannon want their fill of Uma love. Besides those moments, we have been inseparable.

She has been such a teacher already.

I look at the world in new ways.

I cry everyday when I have "heart to hearts" with Uma- she'a a very good listener.I've turned into such a sop (okay, I was a softie before but now it's ridiculous)

I think often of my own mother and the love she had for me and how I know she would love Uma so very much.

I travel forward and backwards through time, thinking of my mother, grandmother and then to my own grandchildren that already live in Uma's eggs.
The continuum of women.

I'm so proud of her already, so humbled that she chose me as her "tour guide" through this reality.
I wonder what we will show each other, how we will test each other, knowing ultimately that we are bound together as soul mates to nurture each other and help each other grow.

Aware also that growth is rarely easy or painless.

I am hyper-aware of our mortality- how precious our lives are and how quickly they can be altered.
I walk down the street with her and notice so many hazards! I could impale her so easily if I wasn't paying perfect attention. Why are there so many sharp corners in the world? Why isn't everything in the world soft and cushioned?
I'm terrified to get in a car. Feels safer to be on my own two feet.

I take great care walking up and down stairs- amazed at how mindless Iwas just weeks ago.

Everything just seems so fragile.

I notice so many women smiling at me as we walk down the road. So many drivers slow down and give me a knowing smile- they too know the joy I feel.
Many mothers stop and ask how old she is, pleading me to savor these fleeting moments of her being so tiny.
I hear them. I am stretching the moments like taffy. I even enjoy waking in the nighttime to snuggle and have moments of silence with her. So sweet.

She squeaks like a mouse and then makes noises like an elephant as well...
Her cheeks are like warm pudding.
Her smell is intoxicating.

Pure heaven.

She brought the sun with her and tons of crocuses, tulips, and forsythias.

She has heralded the early spring.

Thank you, Uma!!

Happy Valentines Day, my love!!

Uma was born on February 2nd (2/2/2006)at 11:23 am
She shot into this world with a superhero stance- a fist punching through with her head, a strong wail and a fierce suck.....

The labor was incredible.
It began slowly on my "due date"- 1/31...cramping throughout two long sleepless nights.
latent labor.
I had contractions about every ten minutes, mild enough to walk and talk and hang out with friends but strong enough to keep me up at night. Wednesday night (2/1) my midwives came over around 10pm and brought the pool. At that point, active labor had set in.
The "power surges" came every 3 to 5 minutes like a wave. At that point I was about 6 cm dilated from the cramping of the last few days.

A friend used the term "wasabi pain" to describe the feelings of a contraction and that really helped me understand the nature of the sensation- coming on extremely strong but then washing away.
I found my coping mechanism immediately- on all fours and breathing SSSHHHHHHH.
Worked like a charm.
One of my midwives told me that the pain wouldn't increase, just maintain,

and that was music to my ears.

I labored exclusively in the pool and on my bed. My room was transformed into a vortex of birth. Candles and el hadra. The pool was the one place I could be comfortable in my body, yet the warm water would slow down the contractions and I was determined to get things moving, so I would jump out to contract more frequently.

I would shake and shimmy her down, dancing her closer.

My friends were incredibly supportive. They were massaging me, pushing on my back, feeding me, and force feeding me tons of water and recharge. They were silent witnesses when I needed that too. I couldn't have maintained my strength without their nourishment.

The active labor went like that throughout the night. When the sun came up I was getting really ready to meet lil Uma. A little impatient, yet thrilled to know that on this day, she would certainly be born. My midwives were taking shifts thorough the night. Melissa and Jen were with me throughout all of the active labor and then at dawn, Laura woke up and the two angels took a nap.

Laura told me simply that I should eat something, take a walk around the block and push that baby out. I got dressed in a very comical outfit, accessorized with an incredible hat that belonged to Thundercloud, a Lakota elder.
As soon as I hit the fresh air I began to cry.
I felt a rush of emotions and a bittersweet love...It was very sweet.
I walked, supported by my friends in a most ridiculous fashion around the block. Every ten steps or so I would crumble down into a squat and breathe though my contractions.
They were surging every minute or so. We ran into several different neighbors who all knew what was happening. They would cheer me on and try to chat, but I was really far gone at this point.

When we came back, Laura checked me and I was totally dilated, no evidence of a cervix at all.
She told me to go with my instincts but that it was time to push.
I got in the pool, as I really loved the idea of a waterbirth, a lil mermaid-dolphin child, but the pool slowed the contractions. They suggested that I get onto the toilet to push so I sat there and when the first contraction came, I tried to push with it....

and WOW.

No one could have prepared me for that sensation.

My breath would extend for minutes on end, as the contraction and my push synergized into a ferocious force. It was an absolutely surreal feeling. The toilet was a perfect place for me to push, I felt like my intestines might fly out at any moment. My midwives had me feel inside my canal to feel Uma's head coming through. I felt her descend and when she came close to crowning, I went onto the floor in a squat. The sounds coming out of my mouth seemed to come from the depths of the earth- a bellowing like a whale. I went from a squat to going on all fours.
her head crowned into the "rim of fire" and I breathed to try to stretch and not tear as she made her entrance.

In another push her head was out, along with her hand. There was a chorus of "oohs" and "aahhhs" and I fell a bunch of tugging as the midwives were trying to push her hand back inside.
The next push, the rest of her body came flying out.

What followed was pure bliss.

They put her in my hands and a melted into a puddle of tears.
after a hour of pushing, Uma was here.

I had waited so long to see her face.

It was love at first sight.

We went to my bed, still connected by her cord. She rested on my chest while we waited for the placenta to birth. After the placenta came flying out (literally), we cut the cord and I was incredibly relieved. So very very happy to be done.
So very happy to have Uma on the outside, for the labor to be over, to have my body back.
Bliss. Bliss. Bliss.
The whole birth team got Thai food and Uma and I gazed into each other's eyes....
We ate and lounged and looked at each other for days.
She's been an absolute angel. Her scent is delectable, heavenly.
I could hardly sleep for days, just wanting to look at her face- to take in her features, to kiss her cheeks.

My midwives and friends were so incredible, and they continue to be. We've been fed like queens at home, waited on and served. My housemates are phenomenal. I feel like having a baby with your friends is really the way to go! Also, I have a whole newfound respect for the midwife profession. I can't believe that they do this all the time. What an intense job! They maintained such gentle strength, confidence, and patience. I felt like I was in such good hands. I love them dearly.

The days following her birth have been sunny and gorgeous. After 3 months of rain, lil Uma brought the sun! I knew she would!

More to come. Enjoy the photos....If anyone wants to see Uma's lil head coming out, email me and I'll send you the photo. It's a little intense so I didn't want to publicly post it, didn't want anyone to lose their cookies, as it really looks like she's coming out of my ass....

Feel free to post comments.

Love,

Claire and Uma