13-day reflection

It's Valentines Day and I sit here with precious Uma strapped to me, joined now for 13 days outside the uterus. We've been separated now for the occasional shower and for the times that Meshi and Shannon want their fill of Uma love. Besides those moments, we have been inseparable.

She has been such a teacher already.

I look at the world in new ways.

I cry everyday when I have "heart to hearts" with Uma- she'a a very good listener.I've turned into such a sop (okay, I was a softie before but now it's ridiculous)

I think often of my own mother and the love she had for me and how I know she would love Uma so very much.

I travel forward and backwards through time, thinking of my mother, grandmother and then to my own grandchildren that already live in Uma's eggs.
The continuum of women.

I'm so proud of her already, so humbled that she chose me as her "tour guide" through this reality.
I wonder what we will show each other, how we will test each other, knowing ultimately that we are bound together as soul mates to nurture each other and help each other grow.

Aware also that growth is rarely easy or painless.

I am hyper-aware of our mortality- how precious our lives are and how quickly they can be altered.
I walk down the street with her and notice so many hazards! I could impale her so easily if I wasn't paying perfect attention. Why are there so many sharp corners in the world? Why isn't everything in the world soft and cushioned?
I'm terrified to get in a car. Feels safer to be on my own two feet.

I take great care walking up and down stairs- amazed at how mindless Iwas just weeks ago.

Everything just seems so fragile.

I notice so many women smiling at me as we walk down the road. So many drivers slow down and give me a knowing smile- they too know the joy I feel.
Many mothers stop and ask how old she is, pleading me to savor these fleeting moments of her being so tiny.
I hear them. I am stretching the moments like taffy. I even enjoy waking in the nighttime to snuggle and have moments of silence with her. So sweet.

She squeaks like a mouse and then makes noises like an elephant as well...
Her cheeks are like warm pudding.
Her smell is intoxicating.

Pure heaven.

She brought the sun with her and tons of crocuses, tulips, and forsythias.

She has heralded the early spring.

Thank you, Uma!!

Happy Valentines Day, my love!!