grandmother tree

A few weeks ago was the anniversary of my mother's death. Uma and I went to the tree where we scattered her ashes up on Mt. Tabor. We sat on the "grandmother tree" for quite a while and nursed, played and soaked up the day. I remembered that it was a year ago, a few days before the funeral in Maryland, that I first saw my belly move. It was so bittersweet, so bizarre. I felt the wonder of new life simutaneously with the sharp pain of loss. Now, one year later, here is this amazing being who is totally alive and my mother is somehow not.